That was the name of my original blog. I started this blog shortly after my Freshman year of college. I had recently renewed my commitment to the Christian faith and taken responsibility for my beliefs for the first time in my life. I was full of Southern Baptist fire and ready to reach the world in Christ's name.
Looking back on my blog has revealed the wisdom hindsight often provides. I maintained my blog for a little over a year and a half, posting about once a month. My posts varied in tone, topic, and logic during that time. Some were weak metaphors. Some were completely true, most were not. Most were full of stretched connections and a blind commitment to the idea with which I had sat down. However, all of my posts had one thing in common. They focused on what still needed to be done. The blog was named as a cry against treating Christianity as a to-do list but I often created a measuring stick instead. I would amaze at the greatness of God and then discuss how we needed to react.
My last post was in August 2008. Although I have kept the blog up, I have not written since that time. My conflict in thought and guilt at the discrepancies between my writing and my way of life prevented me from being able to formulate a complete post. I neglected my blog because I didn't want to think about how I wasn't following my own advice. I began to weave a masquerade with my words and created an image that I wanted to portray to others. The image of a young man of God who had it all put together and wanted to do all of the right things.
But I don't think God wants us to live like that. I don't think He has revealed His glory to us so that we may feel guilty that we don't measure up. Or that we are meant to tell others how God wants them to live. While it is true the bible has a lot of areas that are inconsistent or illogical, I believe the basic message is clear.
When Christ was asked which of the commandments was the greatest he replied quite clearly.
37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
I think that He made his point in these words. We are not meant to judge others or to say there is a set way of going about life. We are not meant to measure ourselves or anyone else -against our own expectations or the ones we have created on the behalf of God. Instead, we are meant to live in the present.
So here is to not knowing if I am making the right choices. Here is to not always being able to tell right from wrong and having the wisdom to refrain from judgment. Here is to seeing the rainbow in the puddle and to taking the time to smile when you don't want to.
Here is to seeing God today.
